"SEVERAL DARK HOURS"
POSTED AT 08:22 AM in Today's Menu, The Earthen Diary

Artistinorbit

There is always a time when the darkness wallows the brighter days of your life and you find yourself stumbling and crying out with a bleak hope in your heart and a bitter taste in your mouth. It is a very unpleasant predicament as you feel the walls close in on you and you crumple into a sad ball of paper wishing for someone to pick you up, smoothen you out and read the sad story of your very uneventful history.

The last three days were marked as some of my darker times in college. I flunked three very important examinations on an almost continuous basis. I always thought that it would be an impossibility, but it happened. The experience of being shoved to the bottom of the food chain was a dire and very nerve racking experience - in which you feel like drowning in the pool of your own blood as you gasp for your last breath but to no avail and you just die there on the spot with no one in the world to cry for your cold and lifeless carcass.

But in every death there comes a resurrection. This therefore, is my Sunday devotion - to rebuild this ugly defeat and make it into something worthy. It will not be an easy task, that is for sure; but I will manage and it shall become a new reality.

["Someday New York, I'll learn how to flag down a cab."]

mindreading: Leadership and Management
tapping my fingers to the tune of: Dreams
popping my eyes out to: - nada
I'm feeling rather: Impassioned

"SOMETHING SENSIBLE FOR A CHANGE"
POSTED AT 09:56 PM in The Earthen Diary, Moon and Stars

Artistinorbit

I like to blab a lot. It's like a social disease that I had developed in the long years of spending time with people who have the tendency to say things they don't really mean; the automatic white lie makers, gossip elites and the like. I don't really know how it all happened, but somehow, I caught the germ and tend to word vomit from time to time. And so, to make this diary entry a little less ersatz, I will speak some of the true and worthwhile subjects that I have recently brought into focus in my life.

Item one is this very nifty dream of mine to someday become a writer and change how the world looks at itself with a very profound literary piece. But for now, let's just settle for this adage that I left my sister to ponder upon:

"For every wisdom, comes a price of responsibility." {Jake, 2008} Oh diba? Ang Fiieeerrrrccccceeeeee!

I also realized that I should work on some of my artistic abilities and create works of beauty that can someday be part of an art gallery's collection. The picture below showcases my deep desire to beat the crap out of the person who conceptualized the shot and come up with a much better one. Much thanks to Mikey for the small sample that had inspired me out of proportions.

Oh and lastly, [yes, I did say there were three things], this lovely line from a song of prayer: "O Hesus, hilumin Mo aking sugatang puso, nang aking mahango kapwa kong kasimbigo..."

It just breaks your heart to listen to it - but more importantly, it inspires the soul to find strength and shelter in God's love.

mindreading: Critical Care Nursing
tapping my fingers to the tune of: Bukas Palad
popping my eyes out to: - nada
I'm feeling rather: Heartbroken

"Compromising Comfort"
POSTED AT 03:19 PM in Today's Menu, The Earthen Diary

Artistinorbit

I'm the type of person who loves the intricacies of rituals - to slowly relish the delights of life, just like when you go to a spa and get all buttered up to perfection, and where your best friends are hardly human - in the images of magazines and burning incenses. I really enjoyed my bath today, as I pampered myself with the frangances of white lily and jasmine, all thanks to Marks and Spencer. I simply love baths simply because they help me wash away the tensions of reality - if only for a while.

My workload had not diminished since I started mainly because I took a pretty lot of U-turns in my progress. I know that I should not procrastinate, especially at the point of the impending arrival of the mammoth midterm exams, but I just can't help myself. I need to exercise the creative half of my persona lest I will crumble into a sad hue of gray, for the rest of the week. And besides, I will work with my homework after this. It's not like I'm taking them for granted or something.

Anyway, I visited Shutterstock today, for some generous donations of usericons, but sadly, the former luster of their pictures seemed to have faded - or it must just be my lack of enthusiasm of waiting for the webpages to load so I grab what little niceties that appear first. Sigh. Notice how my usericons look like old textbook cutouts?

We all hope for a more meaningful life, one that can lead us to spend time to contemplate of the myteries that surround us. It's my idea of comfort - very much like the rainy days that you spend indoors, drinking from a warm cup of coffee and drifting into peaceful daydreaming, learning all the secrets of silence and solitude. But sadly, not everyone can afford such a luxury, because the reality of it is that life can't always be pleasant for anybody. To really live it to the fullest, one has to compromise every possibility of comfort to challenge the less appealing tasks such as homework and other sad fates. It's just a fact of life that we should all learn to live by. And no amount of visits to the spa can ever change it.

mindreading: Critical Care Nursing
tapping my fingers to the tune of: Walking on Sunshine
popping my eyes out to: - our very silent television
I'm feeling rather: Anxious

"Daunting Developments"
POSTED AT 09:09 PM in The Earthen Diary

Artistinorbit

It just occured to me that sometimes developments can be scary little things. One development that brings uninvited chills to my bones is the BJE potential that is going rampant in our setting and which the national government does not give a damn about, second is the Beijing Olympics that I'm presently missing because of my insanely busy schedule, and third is the prolonged agony of our telly's volition to stay muted. These are developments that I worry about because they are experiences lost to the unmoving possibilities. I have also come to the realization that it is not the best way to spend our existence, because it is one that is voided of any value. Subsistence in this context is one that should be left unimagined  for it will only strike sadness and remorse on any human heart - for the fact that it can never be understood and is often left to be ignored.

Other developments, particularly my performance in critical care and in my quest to revive my staggering persona are very slow in their paces of progress. It makes me sad to see very little improvement in the terms of their restoration. On the other hand, I also feel hopeful that they will sooner or later come into completion, as sustained progress will undoubtedly reach an ending, one way or another.

The important thing is to never give up on yourself and to work hard - if not in the most agonizing way possible, if it would mean reaching your goals. As we continue to tread upon the path the leads to our destinies, it is also equally important to appreciate the extent of the journey. You can't help but feel the appreciation to your family, who constantly walk with you through the good times and the bad, to your friends [well, the real ones at least], who also work as your buffers against the extremes and of course, to God, whose undying love keeps us going even in our darkest days.

All in all developments can be our sources of excitement or fear, the fact remains that we don't have full control over them. Sometimes, things just happen. But how to fully empower our lives with them resides entirely in our hands. It all boils down on how we channel and integrate them in the makings of our human experiences. The theme is to always be hopeful, because nothing can be turned into an impossibility, when you continue to hope for the best.

mindreading: Critical Care Nursing
tapping my fingers to the tune of: Walking on Sunshine
popping my eyes out to: - our very silent television
I'm feeling rather: Contemplative

"The Recapture of July"
POSTED AT 05:42 PM in Today's Menu, The Earthen Diary

Artistinorbit

Somewhere between the last 36 days, I have managed to let all of my memories wander freely into the infiniteness of space as I grovel against the current of my responsibilities for the academe, my nonexistent social life and my family obligations.

During the extent of this uninteresting feat, I had unintentionally abandoned the time to sustain this online diary as it got dustier each and every day. So far, this come back had made me realize to make use of whatever means I have to improve my character. This is my way of rejuvinating my abilities of self expression as I aspire to tackle more complex tasks of delving deeper into my subconscious in the hopes of awakening the vicious and starving monster that is my psyche.

It was sad to watch the life dwindle from artistinorbit. I promise not to do it again.  Anyway, to make my timely amends, I am going to update my diary as often as possible, not forgetting to include the better half of my life. It will not mean all parties and ideal get togethers; only the more substantial pieces of my existence - to uphold justice of literature and the fancy of million of diarists who will simply hate me for being the sad whiner that I tend to become. Anyway, I have a huge confession to make, I had ditched Yeh's invite to her brother's wedding for some me-time. Call me the selfish brat, but I seriously have to shed time to give myself the best showers because I start to reek everytime I come off from duty. It's really a tedious ritual, believe me. But I know they'll let me off the hook - because they become really, really understanding when it comes to personal hygiene. And besides, I don't even know the couple. I can't watch myself gatecrash a reception. Haha. That would be amoral.

Anyway, there are more things waiting for me in my handy Samsonite. Oh, and the telly's busted, which leaves me with absolutely zero reason to procrastinate. Breaking the hiatus is never enjoyable - but this one is an exception.

mindreading: Nursing Leadership and Management
tapping my fingers to the tune of: Walking on Sunshine
popping my eyes out to: - is this a trick question? Fat Chance!
I'm feeling rather: Fulfilled